Starbuckese and other incomprehensible languages

Okay. So I understand that Starbucks has a lingo all our own when describing coffee and our plethora of derivatives. From the customer perspective, the vocabulary is standard- they conform to the literal references they see on the board. In the case of our Pike's Place Roast, people refer to it as Pike's Peak, and I wonder if these people have ever looked at the board completely. But in other ways, we as baristas have different ways of classifying the recipes dictated us. But let's be honest, coupled with out knowledge, situations like the one from today only happen when communication breaks down on the customer end because I am not a telepath and cannot read minds.

Today a man came in. At the register, he ordered a tall sized vanilla bean frappuccino. My opinion of grown men who order such drinks aside, this is what he appeared to be ordering as that was written on the cup. When working at the bar, the idea is that the codes written on our cups give us all the information we need to automatically make that drink while multitasking ten other things. A tall vanilla bean frappuccino is not complicated. It's also not complicated to ask for caramel sauce on top of the whip cream. When I called out the finished product sans caramel sauce (NOT written on the cup), he looked at me puzzled and said...

"What is this, I wanted a caramel one."

To which I replied "I'm sorry sir, I'll remake that for you."
(after making a caramel frappuccino)

He came up the handout station and said "Why is this all dark?"

I replied, trying to keep my temper and tone neutral, "Its a caramel frappuccino."

He said "I want caramel."

"Thats what that is. Do you mean the sauce?"

"Yes. On top of a vanilla bean frappuccino."

I am barely keeping it together at this point. With hands shaking with frustration, I grab the vanilla bean frap and put caramel sauce on it. Then retreated to the back room to get it together.

The lesson is, be clear when telling us what is missing from your drink. or don't order such a complicated drink.

did you know?

working in a coffee shop is a lot like having a show to watch every day. if you have a lot of regular patrons, you see them come and go, learn what few details of their lives they share over the espresso machines, and do it again the next day. but when it comes down to it, you begin to care about these regular strangers.

it almost makes waking up before the sun worth it just to see someone smile over their cup of coffee. the other side of this borderline cheesy emotion is sometimes crazy stuff happens. at a chain as large and hospitable as the one i work at, its bound to draw in a crazy person or many. those encounters leave us giggling or frustrated, and ultimately have ended in much back of the house discussion.

this is a no holds barred account from the back side of the counter.